I'm reading and studying again. I've picked up three books on the same subject and am half way through one and am starting the process how things will change for me and my family. The books are Last Child in the Woods- Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder by Richard Louv, How to Raise a Wild Child by Scott Sampson, and Free Rang Kids by Lenore Skenazy. I'm half way through Last Child in the Woods. I'm going to read all three and then give a more detailed over view of where my thoughts are on that specific subject, but I'd thought I'd share my thoughts while I'm in the beginning stages of my 'processing'. Broad overview of the books is digging into the topic of how our culture has shifted to mostly indoors and sedentary and structured and lack unstructured outdoor play time and how that's affecting all of us, but specifically kids.
Fact about me, I'm a processor. Meaning, rather than be spontaneous, I'm tend to process and study and look at all the angles when making a decision.
Total asside, but here's an example of the depth of my process-y-ness. When Hubby and I were dating and all in love and head over heels, Hubs was the first one to say 'I love you'. So he said it for the first time while saying goodnight after I dropped him off a his car and he closed the door really quick so I didn't have the opportunity do say it back. Then the next time he said it, was on the phone one night a few days later. I replied "Drive save!". Ha! Poor guy. What was going on in my head was that I knew this was the man I was going to marry, and I knew I'd only say I love you for the first time only once, and I really wanted that first time to be face to face and special. So I held out until a special date a bit later. I need to process and also, I have strong ideals that I really try to hold onto, and when I commit, I'm ALL in. And he loves that about me, now, mostly.
So, when I get into research mode, I start asking myself a ton of questions and measure my level of commitment, because once I commit, I'm all in, which is a lot.
Just one of the areas I'm processing is that I'm a structured organized introvert. I feel peace when things are not crazy messy or chaotic, but orderly and simple. I'm also an introvert who gets drained by being overly busy or over committed. Part of my process in digging into changing something, specifically in parenting, is fighting the "I'm not doing enough" line. Or 'mom guilt'. When I dig into this subject, I emotionally prepare myself to be open to do things different, not better or worse, just view it as progress and change. Using words like better or worse or bad or good are really limiting and definitive. I try to just use more open words because I will always be growing and changing and never arrive, so my language should reflect that and my expectations of myself should too.
Also, I try not to see things as being added to my list. My list is full. All of our lists are full. So when I find something important that needs to be put on the list, that means something else needs to come off, or at least morph into something less or different. I can get so overwhelmed when I see change and think about adding this to my list, that I just curl up and feel paralyzed and do nothing.
And, when I reevaluate my list, I'm in a season where if something is not giving me and my family life, it's probably got to change. I might not know how to change it, but being open and beginning to explore options is the best place for me to start.
So, as an introvert, who would rather stay home and make my home structured and organized and orderly with a neat and tidy schedule, I'm looking at leaving my house more to get myself and kids into nature, to explore and discover and have unstructured play time. And so, I am processing what that will look like for us, for my sanity and what I can simply in other areas to make this happen. I don't have much of a specific plan yet, but I'm dreaming and processing and giving myself grace to get there.
A few dreams that I'd like to see if I could achieve in the next year:
- to enrole in Katy Bowman's Restorative Exercise Program
- to go outside with my kids EVERYDAY
- to start a nature study with my kids weekly
- to start/ participate a weekly nature school co-op for other like minded families
- to start a family hobby, like geocaching and hiking and camping, and plan monthly adventures
- to walk 5 miles 3 times a week
- also, in the next year I'd like to be able to do a pull up
I look at that list and can see a list of more, but I'm learning to see a list of dreams. I've decided these things will give me and my family life, so moving around my list to make it happen can be a fun challenge, and breaking it down into manageable steps and simply focusing on that. The example of me wanting to do a pull up, I'm very weak and have a hard time thinking about being able to do it, so I've started hanging every day from a pull up bar or tree branch or monkey bar. So, Ive been doing that. I've gone from barely being able to hold myself up for a few seconds, to ten seconds to now almost a minute. It's fun and rewarding to see progress.
This feels a bit scattered, but that's also how my mind works. My goal in sharing my process would be to hopefully be an encouragement to someone to not be overwhelmed. I think many of us don't dream because we don't think we have time. Never stop dreaming, and if you never stop taking steps forward you will always be able to make thing happen. And so, forward and onward!
